First love

Hey peeps!
What for? Nay i know there's nobody going to read my blog anyway so i felt safe o write anything i mean everything that my heart wanted to.
So yea been back to Egypt to continue my life as a medical student. I realized up till now, every single time that i went to a new place, i felt for someone. Last semester with that guy but he's just a normal crush. One sided love again.
But this semester is epic. Totally.
I felt for someone. I could say my first true love.
I met him few times before but i never ever
Expect that i would ever fall for him.
Someone said that it's amazing how a person can mean so much to you but you never felt it the first time.
We contacted through all summer holiday and i can say that i never been so happy before. Having someone that cares for you and accepted you for who you are feels amazing.
However. It gets complicated as the third semester starts. I never thought that he was so close to my roomie. Then i kept our so called 'relationship' quiet and confidential because i don't want anybody to know.
But i thought i could handle this alone sadly my heart its too fragile. I'm vulnerable. Easily broken.
He's much much closer to my roomie and i'm jealous as fuck. I don't know what to do.
He did not know how many times he broke my heart over and over again. I m wrecked bitch and you wrecked-ecked me.
Sigh
Deep thoughts
I ll continue this later
I hate to see my heart breaks again.
Love yuna 😘

Reflection

I always think that i'm better than others, including my friends my connections even my bitches.

But the fact that i'm nothing. Nothing in the eye of god.

We are all the same. His humble servants. 

He lends us this world full of undeniable pleasures just to test us; to choose the one that full of virtue and faith towards him.

Friday, as usual the most barakah day ever.

I went to mosques like i always did on every single Friday.

But i never realize what is the story behind this day.

Never crosses my mind that i will eventually end up in heaven.

I always thought i belong to hell.

But who knows.

I prayed beside two banglas' and in my mind that moment, i felt disgusted and the fact that i'm better than them.

Who am i to judge them? they are just the same as me.

Maybe when the world come to an end. I ended up in the hellfire while they will go to heaven.

Who knows? 

I always make mistakes. Dahh~ everybody did.

I repented but then i'll make the same mistake again.

Will Allah forgive me? for my past and my future momken.

InsyaAllah.

Have Faith & Pray Hard 

Love yuna

Me

i found this on tumblr.
i knew the minute i read it, i gotta share it. It's totally me.
in words.

I have this bad habit of..

getting close to people and thinking that their always going to be by my side; but eventually they always leave.

I have this bad habit of...

loving people a little too much, when they don't even love me back; and when they leave me my heart feels like someone stab me from the back.

I have this bad habit of ....

caring for people, when they don't even care about me at all. Perhaps, if they'll see the scars i have deep down inside.

I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired.

i wish feelings didn't exist.

why does it exist anyway?

i always fall for everything and let it destroys me.

it's my fault after all. albeit i still have the hope that one day i find a person that shares the same bad habits as me.

Expectation

I barely know you.
Albeit i want too. badly
So i make the move because waiting for you is tiring.
I don't even know that you ever will say hi to me.

I text you, you replied.
I m ecstatic and my heart races every time we did.
Our cute conversation is absolutely enticing.
Nothing can beats that.

I'm on top of the world that last 2 hours on the verge of a morning.
I woke up on my beauty sleep as i missed you i guess.
I saw your text and you're still online.
I took the chance on that 4.30 am to text you.
Hoping that you would reply.
You did.

We chat like we known each other for so long.
I confessed at you.
The fact that you are open and willing to accept me.
I'm beyond happy and burst to tears.
You called me sayang.
I melted like ice on top of a frying pan.
My heart skipped a beat.

That morning. I said hi to you.
But you changed.
You won't talk to me any longer.
Where's the love?
Where's that sweet convo that we had.
What we had was gold.
Where have you gone?
You've change your heart less than 24 hours.

I'm tired crying my heart out.
I don't think you would ever hear it.
Maybe you won't even care.
I' moved on
I guess that big expectation that i had for you is just nothing.
Since it was easy for you.
Maybe i started pretending that we never talked before.
I won't have the chance to say Hi! or even my goodbye.

Love, yuna

Over

Let get this straight,
I can't believe that we are even together.
Albeit, you can hold no longer.
You are just the same as others.

And i finally thought you are different.
Different seems like a big deal to you.
I can't hold any longer.
I'm falling for you but you don't feel the same.

I gotta leave you.
Moving on to find a true love.
The one that will be there for me.
Hold me tight under his warm arms.

Feel his heartbeats.
Well that's a big dream.
And it looks easy for you.
I just start pretending that nothing ever happened between us.

Impossible

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy 

And my heart is broken 

All my scars are open 

Tell them what I hoped would be 

Impossible

I'm falling. I felt your love.

It started when i'm in misr. 

I never thought you gonna Whatsapp me. 

It's kinda weird because i thought i wound never ever be your kind of people.

Then, you being very sweet. nice. I'm melting every conversation we had. 

You never judged me, you listen to every story of mine.

I never expect this thing is gonna happened.

You are kind of out of my league, or i'm the one that are out of yours.

I wish that we could be together. But i knew that would be impossible

The girl you gonna be married to would be lucky. 

Your eyes and words that always tell the truth and every crap of story that i told you, but you listen.

I thought that i confessed but it's too much i guessed.

So we're impossible.

Clarity

Cause you are the piece of me,
I wish i didn't need.

If our love is tragedy,
Why are you my remedy?

Today has been hurtful. I kept thinking bout you. Can't stop and won't stop.
I'm typing in the dark wondering if you would ever think about me.
I'm moving on but every time i think about you. It hurts

Cause i thought you're really into me. How is that possible?
I know it's not realistic albeit you treat me like i'm the one and only.
I felt out of this world.

But it's okay. Totally.
I bared it all. I always did.

So,If our loves insanity, Why are you my clarity?

Crush

Hey.

So what's up? i knew that no one is ever gonna read my blog, but i don't even care.
Blogging helps me to express my feelings whenever i wanted to.

Behind every smile, lies a story

I hate to come to a new place. Why? because throughout the journey, i'll meet someone.
Someone that is gonna melt my heart and breaks it at the end.
It hurts.
Truly aching but i bare it all.

I met this guy, i'm being honest.
At first, i kept thinking myself that i would never EVER   fall for him.
Why? 
Duh. No taste at all but i believed that beauty lies on the eyes of beholder.
So, although that person does not looks like hot tumblr guys, but i think he is perfect.

It's totally like Katy Perry and Russell Brand.
I'm katy and he's russell.
Which in the end we both break.
Break? We don't even coupled. It's totally one-sided love.
I'm heartbroken.

Am i that lonely?.
Je veux ton amour


On my way to Istanbul.

Misr. Me

Assalamualaikum.

Hey peeps, it's been a long time since i came around, it's been a long time since i'm back in town.

Where, would in the million years i'll be? Egypt for sure. 

Can't update much since they totally change the blogger into arabic which i still can't understand. 

At first, i thought living and studying there, interacting with the arabs thought me how to speak arabic. Definitely, a big hell to the NO!

I finalized, my medical degree. But only the first year.

Long way to go baby. ISA, i will be expected to become a doctor in the year around 2020, maybe plus with housemanship 

Now, living at home because of summer breaks. 3 months baby.

Later updates, love yuna <3

EGYPT

Get that biatch. So what's up really with my life? This is a true story of memoirs from a diva named Yuna.

Well after kak airin start working back in Ammxius, me just wanna seat back and relax enjoying my life in the fabulous lane at home. Then by stating that i' m just gonna seat back at home, that means that my weight is increasing tremendously. HAH! but yea that's normal to me and yet i just don't care about it. Be happy with your own body okay, I am fiercely  real.- Intoxibellas ANTM

Well enough of my lame life, while waiting for my foundation result, i finally completed my driving license,

That is a big achievement albeit i rarely drive at home since me got no car!

But I once emphasize to my mom;

I WAS BORN TO HAVE A DRIVER, AND NOT TO DRIVE

I'm just being lazy as always.

Just a kiss- Lady Antebellum #nowplaying

Since i really got nothing to tell since some stuff or words are better left unsaid, unexplained because its too complicated. UPU result came out and it was not expected. When i'm so anxious to know what my future will be but to bad i just fell, dropped and i felt like someone stabbed me leaving a hole behind.

I didn't got what i wanted and i really was aiming for chemical industry but they offered me something that is way beyond my abilities which actually off the track of ma life.

I was crying so hard having thoughts in my mind that my life is over, dreadful and lack of happiness extreme of nothingness.

Therefore, why does the Egypt is the main title of this meaningless post of my life, since i might be going there. Fulfilling my dad's dream of wanting one of his son to become a doctor and studying in Egypt. Hell Yeah that lucky child is me! 

Although, i don't actually feel lucky at all because i know that the responsibility is way too much for me and i m not sure if i really can cope with the course since i got nothing to offer. i know i'm a lil bit insecure but actually to me being insecure is all about you yourself preparing in life not to make any single mistakes and making the right decisions. But we are humans created by the almighty Allah, we are not perfect, we are not reaching there and we wont #fact

I' m scared and i wanna clarify that. Having a deeper conversation with my besties about this bizzare event of me taking medic, they are..... hurm i m not sure they are very supportive or not but to be frank i m hesitated because this is the decision that will become my future, any wrong decision will ruin my life forever. not that forever but i just wanna say that if i failed 7 times, i ll rise back eighth! i won't give up because if i m not taking this course i got nowhere to go. i think

Love Yuna.

Written by the persona sobbing and letting words out of his discomfort heart

Family

I'm Working Bebeh!

Assalamualaikum peeps, so today i'm gonna tell you bout the pro and cons of working wif family.

Pro:

• senang tak payah cri keje kat luar
• x waste time
• boleh buat sukahati
• masuk lambat takpe
• help your own family
• duit lastly pegi kat family member jgak!

Con:

• senang nk gaduh
• tapi pk family jgk
• rosakkan relationship
• menyusahkan
• sibling yg bajet bagus
• i m in dilemma
• nak benti la

So you guys decide on your own la!

Love Yuna.

SUM 41

I've been here.

Assalamualaikum, peeps and all the blogger rockers according to miss jigabellamyorke. So last Saturday, I went to Sum 41 concert with jiga and her Uniten sweet friend Nae'.

So what actually happened in the first place, Jiga said she wanted to go to the concert of her favorite band which is stated /heh. Then i was like, why don't i hop on and join her too albeit i don't really know the bad but only a song entitled With Me.

Then, the day of the concert arrived and i knew Jiga already has been excited all day long. But i don't feel a thing since i m not really a fan of that band because it's to heavy metal. Nay, not really i still able to enjoy their fantastic guitar performances.

So we had to faced all the long ques and security check then we enter the KL Live. It's been exciting since its not too many people yet and we able to stand in the middle which is like 4 meters away from the stage. Exciting!

After that, Bunkface and One Buck Shot as their opening performance which was so cool and i had a blast listening to their live bands of fucking rock band, and they are always so hot!

WHEWW!.

I Would like to take a chance and post that I LOVE YOU FUCKING SAM BUNKFACE

Too bad we had to wait near an hour for SUM 41 .

Gotye'

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough

No you didn't have to stoop so low

Have your friends collect your records and then change your number

I guess that I don't need that though

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Somehow deep in my heart i adore this lyrics too much of my life that i should give a fuck about it. The lyrics is entirely true, it's like a true description about relationship whether it's between you and your love, friends or maybe family.

Think about it, read it carefully.

Before you close your eyes, when you are about to go to sleep.

Why not you just once think about thess lyrics.

Love

Yuna.

Narcissistic

It's a simple fact, that you could even handle me"

My life has been weird these days, wondering what my future would be. I had always been out of my mind thinking that :

Am i gonna get that degree course?

Is my result qualifies me?

or even,

Am i gonna get marry?

It even become much weird whenever i'm going out with my friends especially Jiga,

I would tell my mom and she said : OKAY!

But then a few hours during my outing....

Mom : Bila nak balik?

ME : Hari ahad la kan iman ckp hari tu...

Mom: Kenapa balik hari ahad?

Me: Ape mak ni, iman kan dah ckp iman balik ngan jiga?

Mom: Sukati kau la... (nada tak puas hati)

Maybe i should mesmerized my mom that i'm already nineteen mom? a big fat 19 + i'm a guy? am i.... (questionzillion marks???)

I can go out whenever i want rite?

I guess my mom still thought that i'm his little boy.

But i tell you mommy, once i get my license, you would never see me often ... heh

Grow up

Grow up boleh tak?

Assalamualaikum.

So, today's post will be specially to one of my brother.

You live your life like a king nowadays trying to show that you are good enough but rather you would. Everyday, you think that money did fall from the sky that you spent it unreasonably. I'm posting this post just for you hoping that one day you will ever read this once i passed away and i won't see your face again. Your sick today so you try to let all your stupid rage and anger to me and mummy whose trying our best to save your hopeless business. Actually my daddy's business that you start to ruin it. Your life start to be a 'millionaire" just because of your unreliable sickness of unknown ghost whose trying to mess with your life and you just don't have the guts to overcome it.

You make me sick of you everyday thinking that you are better than me which i would generally scream out loud at you

"Hey! i don't even care,"

Daddy asked me to come to this company to work and accompanied my mum and i was paid too not be your maid going down everyday buying you food to fill your mindless stomach that never enough foo to be filled with.

Saying that i had no respect for you albeit you, Yourself! that has no respect for me and yourself that i despise you, every single minute.

Trying to give advice but hey brotha' look at yourself,

where do you stand?

how do you act?

how do you treat mom?

This makes me even more had no single respects from you.

Your age of 23 but your actions was like an immature 12 years old kid.

I was posting this during all the madness and rage that you put on me that you filled me that i channeled it to this lovely blog.

I was not posting this not to embarrassed you, but for you to realize that actually we are the one that always be there for you dealing with all your useless thoughts and actions.

We are bonded by blood that thicker than water. Please realize that actually life is not always bout you.

live my life

The face of a diva sitting next to his lover and baru bangun tido.

By the way, this is the last day of my Foundation, UiTM.

Assalamualaikum, how are you blogaholics, twitterholics, fb-holics and all the holics-haloucah lovoucah. it's been a while since my last post? aite. i'm just to busy? Nay just to lazy.

I'm just to lazy since i don't wanna post anything about my miserable life these days. I don't even know what the meaning of life sometimes, some moments i felt like nobody even cares bout me. Why? i felt lifeless and a lot of problems and troubles that i had to face by myself which i don't wanna share with any of my friends and i realize that this is my life and i should solve this on my own.

Do i even have problem? Do i look okay? Am i thinking too much? Yea kinda. I guess some of all the unexpected event that occurred are over-thinking unacceptable. I'm unforgivable of myself and things that happened to me during the Asasi days and now. I kept smiling in front of my friends albeit the heart breaks every single seconds, tear my heart apart but nobody said it would be easy right?

To find yourself in the deepest hole of darkness, alone. Lonely.

Life is too unexpected. I can't say much as all the things that happened already been written in the hand of Allah. That is called fate. You are just a body of soul that following your own destiny. Life is not a bed of roses, so don't expect too much in life, sometimes it is great and i t would be but sometimes it heart-breaking and disgusting.

Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming.

Yuna

Deeper Conversation

Guess what? We'r back and we bring the boys out.-snsd

It's been a while, like for real. The last time i was posting bout Katy Perry's touching In Another Life, now i'm merely talking bout my life. By the way, it's 2012 baby.

So what's up with everybody, just fine i guess enjoying our youth while we still can, and for your information i'm officially nineteen, on the last 16 January of course. It's kinda sad thou because i'm not able to celebrate it with my family but the first morning glory of my birthday, got a text from mummy giving her motherly wish and praying for my success. i literally cried. And i know i should not felt insecure and i should always knew that i have my family that always be there for me no matter what.

How am doing, here. Palam. Sucks as hell but i still can bear the pain of backstabbing bitches, nah~ it just how people act here. i learned to accept people from different backgrounds and the one you trust the most become the meanest as it should not be. Please bitch, help me out here. Shafiq is right saying to me that i should not open-up everything because at that moment they will realize your weakness and tend to use it as the main knife. Get it ? it just waiting for the right time.

So how should i deal with it? hurm, IGNORANCE and Self-Awareness. that it. for real

Ignorance, i should ignore the one that mean and does not mean a thing to me and love the one who accept me just the way i am.

Self-Awareness, i should realize that i came to Palam to study and not really to make friends HAHA yeah..... and

Self-Motivation

I should not give-up, without a war,

I should not even bother sarcasm and mean thing that they said,

I should not say mean things to people because what goes around come around. (Karma)

I should be a better person. more matured i guess

I should find a boyfriend, or a girlfriend. it's a choice okay!

I should study my ass off

I should always turn to Allah no matter what happens, good or bad

And i guess that's it

Love Yuna

In another life...

Sorry, is the only words i can say right now for not posting after a long time.

Life is to busy and time is running out.

It's just do it or die.

But in love, and i wish that in another life i would be your girl

Gotcha!

Mr A

I got you :)

The Scientist

This one is my girlfriend(literally). My besties for how many years allready, i malas nak count because i wanted the friendship to goes on hingga ke anak cucu"alahai noqss

Fyi, This is so not Ak. This one is a Bitch, the one as my support system, my backbone that always have my back. Love you bitch! #midonmoment

#now playing - The Scientist (Coldplay)

I guess this is the definition of love, bebeh

"Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard"

Hell yea i'm moved on i guess, kinda. It's sad of course but still i'm missing my Ak for sure. Of couse with his tainted smile and my tainted heart, i m melting baby. Okay enough about Ak, if talk more about it, tears will shed upon my cheeks and i will suicide literally.

So, that's my life!

This week main event! :

> Driving class in Thursday

> QTI in Saturday

> Raya Haji in Sunday

So, please pray for me! i want a driving license hahaha!

Love Yuna.